I want to have my friends over for dinner more often. I talk about it, save recipes for it, think about how I’d set the table, and then somehow never choose a night.
I think part of it is that I love the idea so much that I start adding things. First it’s dinner. Then I’m thinking about flowers, a dessert I’ve never made, whether we have enough matching glasses, and all the things in the apartment I’d want to fix before anyone came over.
Meanwhile, I could have just texted my friends and asked if they wanted pasta.
I really do love making things beautiful. Setting a table is fun for me, and I don’t want to talk myself out of enjoying that. But I also don’t want my excitement about all the details to keep me from actually having people in our home.
So this is a dinner I’d love to make for the girls this fall. Something cozy and generous, with a few things I can do ahead so I get to sit down and enjoy it, too.
If you’ve been saying you want to have your friends over, maybe this can be your menu. You can borrow the whole thing.
What we’re having
Creamy tomato pasta
Arugula salad with lemon and Parmesan
Warm sourdough bread with salted butter
Apple crisp with vanilla ice cream
Whatever everyone likes to drink
This should feed about four to six people, depending on appetites and whether you add meat to the pasta. I’d check for any allergies or dietary needs when inviting everyone so there’s time to adjust.
The sauce and dessert can be made earlier, which leaves cooking the pasta, warming the bread, and tossing the salad for close to dinnertime. That feels very manageable to me. Much more manageable than deciding to try four new recipes at once, which is exactly the sort of thing I would be tempted to do.
Creamy tomato pasta
This is what I want to eat when it’s chilly outside and I’m sitting around a table with my friends. A big bowl of pasta, lots of Parmesan, and bread to get the sauce at the bottom.
You can add Italian sausage or ground beef if you want to make it heartier. I’d use about a pound, browned separately, and stir it into the sauce before adding the pasta.
You’ll need
1 pound of pasta, such as rigatoni or penne
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 can crushed tomatoes, 28 ounces
¾ cup heavy cream
½ cup freshly grated Parmesan, plus more for serving
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
A pinch of red pepper flakes, optional
A handful of fresh basil
Up to 1 cup reserved pasta water
Optional: 1 pound Italian sausage or ground beef, cooked and drained
To make it
Warm the olive oil in a large, deep pan over medium heat. Add the garlic and cook for about a minute, just until fragrant. Stir in the tomato paste and cook for another minute or two, stirring so it doesn’t catch.
Add the crushed tomatoes, a little salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes if you’re using them. Let the sauce gently simmer for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
While it simmers, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta until just al dente, following the package timing.
Before draining, scoop out a cup of the pasta water. Put a measuring cup beside the stove now if you’re likely to remember this only after you’ve drained it. That would be me.
Turn the sauce down to low and stir in the cream. Add the Parmesan a little at a time, stirring as it melts. If you’re using cooked meat, add it now and let it heat through.
Add the pasta and toss everything together. Pour in a splash of pasta water, then a little more as needed, until the sauce coats the pasta nicely. You may not need the whole cup. Taste and adjust the seasoning, then finish with torn basil and more Parmesan.
I’d bring the pan straight to the table if there’s room and a heatproof trivet underneath it. Otherwise, one big serving bowl is perfect.
To make it ahead: Prepare the tomato sauce earlier in the day, then refrigerate it. Reheat gently while the pasta water comes to a boil, adding the cream and Parmesan as you finish the dish. I’d cook the pasta close to when you plan to eat.
The easiest salad to go with it
I want something fresh with creamy pasta, but I don’t want another recipe that needs much attention.
For four to six people, I’d use:
About 5 ounces arugula
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice, plus more to taste
A handful of shaved Parmesan
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Put the arugula in a large bowl and keep it chilled until dinner. Just before serving, toss with the olive oil and lemon juice, then add the Parmesan, salt, and pepper. Taste a leaf before adding more lemon or salt.
Thinly sliced pear or apple would be lovely in this, too. But if you’ve already chopped enough things for one evening, leave it as it is.
For the bread, I’d warm a loaf of sourdough, slice it, and put it on the table with softened salted butter. Set the butter out while you’re getting ready so everyone can actually spread it.
Apple crisp with vanilla ice cream
I couldn’t put apple crisp on the menu and then leave you without a way to make it.
I love this kind of dessert for having people over because you can finish it before anyone arrives. You also don’t have to do anything to make it look pretty. Warm apples, a golden topping, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream are plenty.
You’ll need
For the apples:
About 2 pounds apples, roughly 6 medium
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
A pinch of salt
For the topping:
¾ cup old-fashioned rolled oats
½ cup all-purpose flour
½ cup packed brown sugar
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
To serve:
Vanilla ice cream
To make it
Heat the oven to 350°F and lightly butter an 8-inch square baking dish.
Core and thinly slice the apples. Peel them if you prefer; leaving the skins on is fine, too. Toss with the brown sugar, lemon juice, flour, cinnamon, and salt, then spread them in the dish.
In another bowl, mix the oats, flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Stir in the melted butter until you have a crumbly mixture, then scatter it over the apples.
Bake for about 40 to 50 minutes, until the topping is golden and the apples are tender when pierced with a knife. If the topping browns before the apples soften, loosely cover the dish with foil and keep baking.
Let it rest for about 15 minutes before serving. Add vanilla ice cream generously.
You can bake this earlier in the day and warm it in a 300°F oven for about 15 to 20 minutes while you finish dinner. If it has been refrigerated, allow more time for the center to warm through.
I would also happily serve a dessert someone else offered to bring. If your friend asks what she can do, you’re allowed to give her something to do.
How I’d get ready without spending the whole day on dinner
I know myself, and “most of it can be done ahead” only helps if I’ve actually decided what I’m doing ahead.
Earlier in the day: Make the apple crisp and tomato sauce. Wash and dry the salad greens if needed, grate the Parmesan, and check that there’s room in the fridge for drinks.
Before I start getting ready: Set the table, put out serving utensils, choose some music, and clear enough space in the kitchen to finish dinner. This is also when I’d stop adding things to the plan.
Around dinnertime: Reheat the sauce, boil the pasta, and warm the bread. Toss the salad last. The apple crisp can warm while everyone eats.
If you’re unsure about timing, tell your friends, “Come over at six, and we’ll eat around six-thirty.” It gives you a little room to finish cooking, and nobody has to wonder whether they should have eaten beforehand.
A few things I’d do to make it feel special
I would probably light the taper candles. I know I’ve been talking about keeping this simple, but I love them, and getting to use the things I’ve collected is part of why I want to host.
I’d use cloth napkins if they were clean, put the bread in a basket or on a board, and maybe fill a small bowl with apples or pears for the table. I’d keep everything low enough that we could see each other and leave room for the food.
That would be enough for me. You might want flowers, or you might want to spend those extra ten minutes doing your hair. Choose the part you enjoy.
I’d also put drinks and glasses somewhere easy to find so everyone could help themselves. Sparkling water, cider, wine if your friends enjoy it. You don’t need to buy every option.
And if someone arrives while you’re finishing, let her sit in the kitchen or hand her the Parmesan to grate. I love being in someone’s home when they’re comfortable enough to let me join in. I want to remember that when I’m the one hosting.
The part I want to remember
I can picture a beautiful table so clearly that sometimes I forget to picture myself sitting at it.
But that’s what I actually want. To eat with my friends. To hear what’s happening in their lives, ask about something they mentioned last time, laugh about something ridiculous, and stay talking after the plates are empty.
I want our home to be somewhere people get invited into. That means I have to be willing to open the door while there are still things I’d like to change about it, or while I’m still learning how to get dinner ready on time.
Maybe you’ve been waiting for something, too. A bigger table, a different apartment, more confidence in the kitchen. I hope this gives you a dinner you feel comfortable trying in the home you have now.
I’m writing it down partly because I need the encouragement myself. I have the ideas. I have dishes I’d love to use. The next step is choosing a night and sending the text.
“Are you free for dinner? I want to make pasta.”
I would be very happy to receive that invitation.
