The Truth About Comparison, Jealousy, and Finding Your Identity in Jesus
There’s something so many of us struggle with but we don’t like to talk about. It happens when you’re scrolling late at night, or sitting in a room full of people who seem like they have it all together, or when someone else gets the thing you’ve been praying for. It’s that stinging feeling of comparison, that subtle jealousy you don’t want to name out loud, that constant thought of “Why not me?”
I’ve felt it. More times than I want to admit. And for a long time, I convinced myself that the problem was me: not enough, not chosen, not gifted, not beautiful, not disciplined, not spiritual enough. I kept thinking if I could just fix myself, I’d stop feeling that deep unfulfillment inside.
Over the last few months, God has been working on my heart in so many beautiful and unexpectedly hard ways, all the while teaching me a super valuable lesson: comparison doesn’t come from a lack of confidence. It comes from not knowing who you are.
And jealousy? It grows in the spaces where we doubt God’s goodness toward us and don’t trust His plans for us.
No wonder so many of us feel lost in our own lives. We’ve been trying to build an identity around external things: appearance, success, validation, opportunities, timing, people…when our identity was never supposed to be something we construct or build on the foundation of the world alone. It’s something we receive.
We always hear “comparison is the thief of joy”, but have you ever realized that it’s also the thief of truth? When you measure yourself against someone else’s life, you lose sight of the story God is writing with yours. You forget that you were created with intention, called with purpose, and designed with a uniqueness that isn’t meant to compete, but to complement you and your uniqueness.
Jealousy is just comparison with a deeper wound. It’s the belief that God blesses others more easily than He blesses you. It’s the fear that you’ve been skipped over. It’s the lie that someone else’s blessing limits yours.
But God is not a God who only gives good gifts to some and not to others. He doesn’t bless one woman to punish another. He doesn’t distribute purpose based on worthiness. His goodness is not running out, and you are not behind.
What I’ve learned is that identity doesn’t come from looking at others. It comes from looking at Jesus.
When you root yourself in Him, everything changes. You stop fighting to be seen because you already are. You stop trying to prove your value because He already established it. You stop rushing your life because His timing suddenly feels perfect again.
Identity in Jesus is steady. Confident. Grounded. It doesn’t break when someone else wins. It doesn’t shy away when you're surrounded by women who are “blessed and highly favored” and shining. It doesn’t fall apart when the timeline changes or the path looks unfamiliar. It’s not built on comparison, but on calling.
The best part is, the more you step into your true identity, the less comparison shows up. The more you trust God with your story, the more jealousy goes away. Not because you become perfect, but because you become rooted in the truth of who you are.
You start to see other women as sisters instead of threats.
You start to celebrate someone else’s blessings without questioning your own.
You start to trust that what is meant for you cannot pass you by.
And you begin to live with open hands, open eyes, and an open heart, ready for the life God is shaping in ways you can’t always see, but can always trust.
If you’re feeling the sting of comparison or the heaviness of jealousy right now, you’re not alone. You’re human. And you’re also deeply loved.
Your identity is secure. Your purpose is unfolding. Your story is far from over.
Breathe. Let God remind you who you are.
Because when you know that, comparison loses its power and you finally step into the woman you were always meant to be.
Praying for you always sweet sister,
Laura <3
