I Have No Clue How This Is Going to Work
I’m back in Miami.
I’m sitting here with a million dreams and zero guarantees. And to be honest… I have no clue how this is going to work. Not the blog. Not the content plan (or should I say lack of one?) Not the big, crazy dream that somehow writing my heart out will change everything someday.
I don’t have a five-year plan.
I don’t have a content calendar that makes me feel confident… I’m not even a structured or “schedule” kind of person. I like to live life day by day…but the world doesn’t work that way.
And I definitely don’t have the kind of following that makes people stop and pay attention.
But I do have this:
A deep, stubborn belief that someway, somehow—pouring my heart into words will change my life someday.
That writing things down, even when they feel small, is part of becoming who I’m meant to be.
Some days I feel like I’m Julie Powell. A woman in search of her purpose writing for the sake of feeling something.
Other days, I feel like I’m just… on the edge.
Of giving up. Of doubt. Of wondering why I care so much about a blog that barely anyone sees right now.
But I do care. I care deeply.
And that’s the part I can’t seem to let go of.
I’ve always loved writing. I have a library of journals from writing my way through the many different seasons and chapters of my life. I love the idea that you can write your way through something. That maybe by documenting the in-between, by telling the truth about the mess in the middle, you actually move yourself forward.
So this is me—telling the truth about the mess in the middle.
I have no clue how this is going to work.
But I’m showing up anyway.
With faith and big dreams.
With a heart full of words that need somewhere to go.
There’s a fire in me that’s been dim lately, but never fully goes out, and I miss the version of me who didn’t care if a post was perfect, just true.
I miss writing like no one was watching, like my life was a movie and I was narrating the scenes on a daily basis.
I miss the feeling of pressing publish and feeling like someone out there in the world was coming along for the ride with me.
Jack and I are leaving for our honeymoon soon — traveling far and wide to beautiful places. Life has been a dream. Originally, I was putting this pressure on myself to figure it all out and change my life during our trips…but I decided I’d rather just stick to that gut feeling that somehow my words will change my life someday…so from now on, I’m going back to writing my heart out.
So no, I don’t know how this will all work out.
But I’m writing anyway.
And somehow, deep down, I believe that’s enough.
And maybe—just maybe—this is where everything begins to change.
