A Little Life Update (and What God Has Been Teaching Me Lately)
Hi my girls <3
I feel like I haven’t sat down and just talked to you in a minute.
And I don’t even fully know where this post is going… but I just felt like writing.
It’s such a cozy spring morning. It’s drizzling outside and the sky is gray, but the birds are chirping and I can hear them through my slightly cracked open windows. I’m burning my favorite non-toxic candle, sitting on my living room floor with my cold brew, and life just feels good.
Like… slow.
Peaceful.
Simple in the best way.
These are the kinds of mornings I wish I could bottle up and stay in.
And I think that’s what I’ve been craving lately. Not anything big or life-changing… just this.
But at the same time, I’ve had a few days recently where I wake up and feel a little off.
Which almost doesn’t make sense, because everything is good.
And maybe that’s why it catches me off guard.
It’s not an overwhelming feeling. Nothing is wrong. It’s just this slight disconnect… like I’m not as grounded as I want to be. Like my thoughts feel louder (and more negative) than they should.
And I’ll catch myself overthinking things I was just at peace about days before.
I hate that feeling.
Because part of me starts to think,
“Wait… didn’t I already grow through this?”
It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, or like I’ve somehow taken a step backwards.
But I’m starting to realize that maybe it’s not that.
Maybe it’s just part of the journey.
Our emotions will eb and flow the same way the sun is shining one day and its rainy the next.
But it all makes for a beautiful life. :)
I don’t think we talk about this enough
I feel like there’s this expectation that once you “get to a good place”… you just stay there.
Like once you’ve healed, grown, gotten closer to God, built better habits… it should just be consistent.
But that hasn’t been my experience at all.
I feel like I’ve grown so much over the past few months.
Like God has done a real work in me.
And then randomly I’ll have a day where my thoughts feel like they used to.
Where insecurity tries to creep back in.
Where I feel a little disconnected from myself again.
And it’s confusing.
Because I’m like… wait, didn’t I already work through this?
God isn’t asking me to be perfect, just to keep coming back
This is what I feel like I’m learning right now.
I keep thinking I need to “get it right” and stay in that perfect, peaceful, put-together version of myself.
But that’s not real.
What is real is coming back.
Coming back to Him.
Coming back to truth.
Coming back to who I actually am.
Even if it’s over and over again.
And honestly… that feels a lot more freeing than just pretending to have it all together.
Because it takes the pressure off of having to be this perfectly consistent, always-feeling-amazing version of myself.
I’ve been craving simplicity again
Lately I’ve just been wanting my life to feel simple.
I don’t mean in a boring way. Just… grounded.
Like:
getting ready in the morning even if I don’t have anywhere to be
going on walks and not being on my phone the whole time
spending time with God without making it a whole “perfect routine”
cooking dinner, cleaning my space, doing normal life things
I think I was starting to overcomplicate everything in my head.
And now I’m realizing… I actually feel my best in the small, normal, everyday things.
God is not rushing me (even when I rush myself)
This one is hitting for me a lot right now.
Because I definitely rush myself.
I think about where I want to be, what I’m building, how I want my life to look… and I can feel this pressure start to creep in.
Like I need to figure it all out now.
But God has literally never treated me like that.
He’s never rushed me.
He’s never made me feel behind everyone else.
He’s never expected me to have everything figured out overnight.
If anything, He’s been so patient with me.
And I’m trying to learn how to move at that same pace instead of the one in my head.
I just want to enjoy my life again
Not “again” like I don’t enjoy it… but you know what I mean.
Like fully.
Not waiting for everything to feel perfect.
Not waiting until I feel 100% confident or clear or secure.
Just… being in it.
The weather has been getting nicer.
The days are starting to feel lighter.
And I don’t want to miss it because I’m stuck in my head.
if you’ve been feeling like this too
I promise that having a hard day after making some progress doesn’t mean that you’re crazy or behind in life and it definitely doesn’t mean that you undid all of your growth.
you’re just human.
and God is still with you in it. not just on your best days, but on the ones where you feel a little off too. especially those.
you don’t need to become a whole new person or try to fix everything overnight.
just come back. keep coming back.
that’s what i’m doing right now.
just coming back to Him, to myself, and to the life that’s right in front of me.
and trusting that that’s enough for this season.
