A Guide to Self-Love That’s Rooted in the Bible
Hi my girls <3
I’m going to be honest… my emotions have been all over the place today.
Which feels strange to say, because for the past few weeks, I’ve actually been feeling really good.
I’ve been doing the inner work.
Showing up for myself.
Healing in ways I’ve prayed for.
And then I woke up this morning and felt like I got hit by a truck.
The thoughts came back.
The old patterns.
The little ways I stop loving myself.
I’m tired.
I woke up late.
I’m not on schedule for the day.
My face feels puffy.
I’ve been living in gym clothes and pajamas, and if I’m honest… it’s starting to affect how I feel about myself.
And it’s frustrating, because I’ve been super intentional about trying.
The part no one really talks about
Over the last few months, I’ve been on a really deep inner healing journey, especially when it comes to my confidence.
And when I say God has been taking me through it, I mean it.
He’s been gently, but very clearly, stripping me of the things I was placing my identity in.
How I look.
How “on top of things” I am.
How well I show up.
How put together my life feels.
All of it.
And I’ve started to realize something I think a lot of us feel, but don’t always say out loud:
A lot of the ways we “love ourselves”… aren’t actually love.
What we’ve been calling self-love
We tell ourselves we love ourselves, but…
We only feel confident when our outfit is perfect.
We only feel pretty when we have makeup on.
We need validation to feel secure in what we’re doing.
We feel proud of ourselves only when we follow through perfectly.
And the second something is off?
We turn on ourselves.
We become critical.
Frustrated.
Disappointed.
We give ourselves no grace…
and somehow still call that self-love.
So what happens when those things aren’t there?
What happens on the days you wake up late?
Or don’t feel your best?
Or don’t look the way you want to?
Or don’t show up perfectly?
If your self-love is built on those things…
of course it’s going to fall apart.
Because those things are always changing and always will be.
What God has been showing me
This might sound a little crazy, but I truly feel like God has been allowing me to fall short in certain areas on purpose to heal me.
To show me just how much of my identity was tied to things that are fleeting.
And to teach me a different kind of self-love.
One that isn’t based on how I’m doing that day.
What self-love has started to look like instead
Lately, it’s been really simple.
But also really hard.
It’s looked like:
Loving myself when I wake up late.
Loving myself when I’m not “on top of everything.”
Loving myself in pajamas.
Loving myself without makeup.
Loving myself when I fall short.
And choosing to give myself grace instead of immediately criticizing myself.
And I didn’t expect this, but …
It’s actually been freeing.
Like a kind of freedom I didn’t even realize I needed.
Because for the first time, I’m not trying to earn my own love.
I’m learning how to live from it.
The way God’s love changes everything
The only reason this is even possible is because of one thing:
I’m starting to understand how God loves me.
He doesn’t love me based on my performance, how “put together” I am, or how good I’ve been doing lately.
Just… because I’m His.
And when you really start to believe that,
even just a little,
you stop feeling like every day is a test you have to pass and then spiral when you fail.
If you’ve been feeling this way too
If you’ve been in a season where:
You don’t feel like your best self
You’ve been a little off
Your confidence feels inconsistent
You feel like you “should be doing better”
I want you to know that you’re not failing at life.
It might actually mean you’re being invited into something deeper.
A version of self-love that isn’t based on things that are going to be changing all of the time.
One that doesn’t disappear the second you have an off day.
A better place to start
Instead of asking:
“How do I become someone I finally feel good about?”
Try asking:
“What would it look like to love myself the way God loves me… today?”
What if you stopped waiting for everything to be perfect? (because it never will be).
And stopped waiting until you felt more confident and started to practice truly loving yourself with grace right now?
A reminder for your harder days:
Maybe part of this is also letting go of the idea that everything has to feel perfect for you to feel okay.
Because it won’t.
There will always be something slightly off.
Something you wish was better.
Something you’re still working on.
And if you keep waiting for the day where everything finally feels aligned, put together, and perfect…
you’ll keep missing the life that’s right in front of you.
The sun is still shining.
Today is still a new day.
God is still good.
Even when you woke up late.
Even when you don’t feel your best.
Even when you’re not “on track.”
Your life is still happening.
And you’re allowed to enjoy it now.
You’re allowed to go for a walk and feel the sun on your skin.
To make your coffee and slow down for a second.
To show up for your day without overthinking every little thing about yourself.
You don’t need to earn a good day.
You don’t need to become a better version of yourself to start living a life you love.
Maybe self-love looks like this:
Not waiting until everything is perfect…
but deciding this version of you, right here, today is still worthy of a full, beautiful life.
Because it is.
And it always has been.
